Tale of Sunday: "I'm not a hypochondriac" by Giusella De Maria

GIUSELLA DE MARIA'S SUNDAY STORY – A very short and ironic story, fresh as a bottle from the fridge. Indeed, as essential as the guide for the holiday traveler. A summertime lifesaver, med kit for the explorer so in love he's willing to have a heart attack. For art and selfies, everything. Remember this warning when you next book the B&B.

Do you suffer from hypotension? Why deprive yourself of an archaeological visit under the beautiful August sun? First, you need to be practical. Choose which millenary artefacts you wish to admire, and immediately stop thinking that "I will certainly have a heart attack". The watchword is: hydration. If your body stays moist like sandwiches in tuna sauce served at a buffet, then you have no reason to fear passing out. Sip your bottle of sugared water, which you will always carry with you. Put on a cap with the bottom covered with a splash of tonic water mixed with menthol deodorant, remove unnecessary weight from the bag and enjoy the glow of antiquity in all serenity, hydration and minimum constant pressure.

Admire the beautiful temple of Apollo, sipping your water integrated with mineral salts, dream of the ancient Rome of the forum swallowing a honey candy, photograph the gladiator arena, with your arms covered in sunscreen with total screen, walk the paved road by dabbing some soaked wipes on your wrists and neck, and rejoice in your sanity. And if all of a sudden it seems to you that the voices around you are fading away and so many black butterflies are whirling before your eyes, place your bag on the floor, stretch out to rest your head on it, and ask a passer-by to hold you in legs up and force you to repeat the names of the seven dwarfs three times.

So, while you'll be lying there making your beats pulsate regularly again, imagine how many women in ancient Rome will have admired those poplars you're observing right now, exactly on those slabs, brushing a little honey from a saddlebag on their lips. , with the minimum of low pressure, two thousand years of scientific progress ago.

The author

Giusella De Maria, a thirty-year-old teacher from Vico Equense, likes to be called "Giusella Chinsella", in homage to her favorite writer. She started with Play for me (Avagliano, 2009) and invented the profession of wedding writers. His latest novel I'm not a hypochondriac, was released by Mondadori (2014).